(Real concerns based on QUT students questions to us in the Welfare section, names and details have been changed)
| The boyfriend that never leaves |
| Desperate & rentless |
| Roommate gone bonkers |
| Many money woes |
| Invasive landlord |
| Crisis rent raise |
| Huge problems at home |
| Weird housemate |
| International student |
"THE BOYFRIEND THAT NEVER LEAVES"
Dear Dr House, I’m going insane! My roommate has her boyfriend over all the time – making out on the couch everywhere, hogging the bathroom – and he doesn’t contribute a cent to any bills or the cost of living here. I suddenly have an extra roommate I didn’t plan on. I don’t want to look like I’m cheap, but its expensive trying to survive as a student in a share house. How do I tell her it’s driving me up the wall without offending her? Cheryl.
Dear Cheryl, you are certainly not the first housemate to deal with this kind of thing - it is a common issue in share houses. Problems often arise, not due to the people who actually live there – but the ones who don’t but who seem like they do!
Cheryl - you are also wise to know that it is a hard subject to broach. If your roommate takes it the wrong way it could cause serious damage to your relationship or create a really uncomfortable living space at home. So the best course of action to take is to try and get your roommate on your side. Coming to a mutual understanding is the goal here!
So, firstly – think of what you want out of this situation. Come up with a number of possible solutions that could work. Do you want her boyfriend to be around a bit less? Or would you just be happy if he contributed to some of the costs of living or paid a small amount each fortnight? Getting your expectations clear is the first step.
Secondly - I understand that you feel upset, as your housemate’s boyfriend is probably using water, electricity and basically spending a lot of time there like another flatmate – but the key is to get her to understand where you are coming from and how it makes you feel. And in turn – you need to strive to understand how she feels about it all as well, and if she thinks your request is reasonable or not. Approach this topic with her carefully – and in person! And try to keep a cool head. Be friendly and mature about it - don’t get emotional or react if she takes it the wrong way. Aim to come to some sort of compromise here! It’s a tricky business.
Maybe mention that you need some sort of arrangement for both of you – in case you get a boyfriend too or have friends over a lot down the track. The details of the arrangement are up to you, but if you can talk about it calmly and without blame, you will all be richer for the experience. Good luck!
"DESPERATE & RENTLESS"
Dear Dr House, My girlfriend broke up with me 2 days ago, and I came home today to find that she’s totally cleared out of our share house just before this fortnight’s rent is due! I cannot afford all of it, and I don’t know where she is or how to contact her. What’s worse is neither of us were on the lease! I am totally screwed! Help me… Sad-Sam.
Poor Sad-Sam!
This is a precarious situation indeed, but do not despair just yet. You need to talk to your roommates and contact your landlord ASAP. As you currently have no legal rights to live there, be as honest and upfront as you can about it and they might understand. Perhaps your landlord will ensure you get all the paperwork sorted and arrange for you to go on the lease, because the other side of the coin is that you don’t have any legal obligation to stay either.
On the financial side of things, you will need to get the rent covered pronto! Try and borrow some money temporarily from family, or go to your Welfare section at uni – they usually have loan schemes for students in need.
You might need to get another roommate to cover the costs, but this will need to be discussed with your landlord and roommates as well. Or if all else fails you will need to find somewhere else to live. Whatever the outcome – don’t think you have to do it alone. Universities have Student Support Services for a reason – to support you! So take advantage of them. There are also a number of places external to uni that provide advice to tenants in share housing like yourself.
Chin up Sam.
"ROOMMATE GONE BONKERS"
Dear Dr House, I have a flatmate that I am really worried about! For the first few months of us all living together everything was great in our house, then suddenly he started acting pretty strange. We have noticed things going missing, and are finding them in strange places around the house. He is talking to himself a lot and seems to be spending more and more time in his room with all the curtains drawn. The chores aren't being done and we think he is having some kind of break down. What do we do? Unsure Ursula.
Ursula,
I’m glad you’ve asked. Sounds like your flatmate needs professional help. It could just be a temporary glitch or something might be out of sorts with his mental health. This is not uncommon; any of us could feel like this some day in our lives.
What is your relationship like with your flatmate? If you feel comfortable enough, how about asking him how he feels, and explaining that you’re worried about him, and saying that he has been acting out of character lately. Seek out a close family member or friend if you know them and ask them for help.
Also - try and get him to talk to a GP, or telephone a counselling service such as Kids Help Line (1800 551800) or Lifeline (13 11 14) right away. If all this fails, talk to the RTA about what your options are depending on the type of arrangement you guys live under. Don’t try and battle all this on your own – get help and it will make it a lot easier.
"MANY MONEY WOES"
Dear Dr House, Trying to organise the multitude of different bills and payments in my share house is a nightmare! There is so much to think of at different times of the year, and there is always a surprise invoice that we didn’t expect and can’t afford. Is there a better solution? Budgeting Bill
Hi Bill,
Great question! When I first moved in to a share house, I set up a bank account for our house (and by the way you should look around, there's tonnes of banks who offer student accounts with no fees involved!). My housemates and I sat down and worked out which services we wanted at our house (internet, phone, electricity, cleaner), and worked out how much per week it would cost each of us over the year (split evenly, but you can split it however you like). If you don’t know how much it cost the past year – just ring your supplier – they can tell you an estimate for the past 12 months.
We added a little on each week (say $5 each) in case the bill was overdue, a little more than we expected it to be and to buy cleaning products when we needed them. Each of us also added a 'bill bond' ($20 each) which was in case you were late one week and as a safeguard. Each week we paid our rent and the extra weekly amount for these services into the house account where the rent would be paid, and all of the house bills. If there wasn't enough money going into the account, we'd agree to put more, or if there was too much, we'd reduce the amount.
At one house that I lived, we put in a lot extra so the house account also paid for food. If the house needed groceries or even just bread or milk, we could take the house account key card and duck up to the shops without it having to come out of our own pockets!
This worked really well as all the bills were accountable, each housemate had access to internet banking so they could see that the money wasn't being spent at the pub and the bills were being paid. Monthly statements also helped us keep a tab on our expenses over the year. This worked out so well that I recommend it to everyone. It makes life so simple and organised – and someone is never left with the burden of having to pay all the bills or wait for someone to give them money in the house.
"INVASIVE LANDLORD"
Dear Dr House, My landlord is so creepy! He comes in without giving us notice and wanders around the lounge room, and has even come into my room before. I feel uncomfortable getting out of the shower just in case he is there in the hallways when I need to dash to my room. From Shy-Sarah.
Shy-Sarah,
This is definitely not acceptable and needs to be rectified immediately!
If you are on a Rooming Accommodation Agreement - your landlord has no right to enter your room without notice, but he may enter common areas of the boarding house. On the other hand - if you are under a Residential Tenancy Agreement you have a lot more rights. The landlord or Real Estate Agent is not allowed to enter the premises without first giving a valid reason and the appropriate notice (this can be between 1 and 7 days). The landlord must put on this notice a 2 hour period during which they can enter the premises. They can stay after this period to finish a job (such as a property inspection), but they must enter during this time. At no time, even if the lessor has given you a notice to enter, can they come into your property between 6pm and 8am or on a Sunday or public holiday unless you agree to this. You may be able to give your landlord a Notice to Remedy Breach about this situation, or make a complaint to the RTA. Plus it is good to get things in writing and have proof of any breaches that happen.
You need to call the RTA on 1300 366 311 to establish what your rights are and clarify what arrangement you are living under. Also try calling the Tenants’ Union of Queensland on 3257 1108 to get some advice about the best course of action from here. Sarah this is one time not to be shy, and for you to stand up for your rights to privacy as a tenant.
"CRISIS RENT RAISE"
Help us Dr House! Our landlord is increasing the house rent by $50 a week! What do we do? We can’t afford that much of a raise - but we don’t want to move houses again. Yours truly, Desperate Doris.
Hi Doris,
A similar situation happened to a friend of mine. They didn’t have somewhere else to go at the drop of a hat and were quite settled in their share house too - so were contemplating just putting up with the rise – even though it was going to make things really tight.
Rent is unable to be increased during a fixed-term agreement unless the increase was written into the agreement you signed. Rent can be increased while on a periodic agreement. That said, there are still rules that have to be followed if the landlord wants to increase your rent.
Rent is unable to be increased unless the right notice has been given. If you have signed a Residential Tenancy Agreement you must be given 2 months written notice of any change. Also it must be at least 6 months since you have begun paying rent (or an increased rent) before your rent can be increased. If you believe the increase to be excessive, you can try and negotiate with the lessor, or go to the Small Claims Tribunal within 30 days or receiving the notice to increase your rent. My friends took this to the rental agency and they agreed to talk to the owners. A week later they rang them with an offer of increasing the rent by only $30 instead. While this was still quite a lot, it worked out only $10 each so it wasn't that bad. Plus any bit of a saving really makes a difference to a bunch of students.
If the rent increase is excessive (even between fixed term agreements), you can dispute the increase – but there are time limits that apply, and rules to be followed. Contact the RTA for more information on how to dispute an excessive rent increase.
So don't just put up with the full increase if it seems a bit excessive. Plus make sure you read all your agreements over carefully and don't be afraid to fight for something! It could be really worth it.
"HUGE PROBLEMS AT HOME"
Dear Dr House, I have been living in a share house with 5 other people for the last 3 months. At first it was awesome! We all got on great, we shared the chores and we even had some wicked parties with all of our friends… Now things are starting to go really bad. It started out with my roommate stealing my milk, which made me so mad… But now the whole house looks like a dump, it even smells funny. My house mates haven’t done their cleaning duties for 4 weeks now! Hardly anyone does their dishes properly. Its like everyone has just gotten so slack. I get so angry and upset even before I walk in the door. I can't live like this – what can I do??? Senile Susan.
Oh Susan,
It sounds like you’re living everyone’s idea of a share house nightmare!
Us humans are all so different… but living together means having to figure out ways of getting along!
Okay so something needs to be done, and fast. To start with, you need to discuss how you are feeling with your house mates, and give everyone else the chance to talk about it too. Maybe some of your roomies want things to change at home as well, but haven’t had any luck talking to everyone yet. Request a house meeting between all your roomies, and try and make it so that everyone can come at that particular time (this can be almost impossible but give it a go!).
Try and make the meeting as informal and friendly as possible, so that your house mates are not on the defensive before it’s even begun. Try not to take over or get angry, or let the others take over and get angry. Remember what type of personality you are, and the personality of the others, and see if someone can play mediator. This is an amazing skill if you all can manage it!
Even though you may be feeling like you’re ready to explode, try and keep it cool. Nothing is ever achieved through yelling and screaming. On the other hand – don’t be too soft either - be firm and decide what you want to change before you have a meeting. Check that your expectations are realistic and remember that change doesn’t happen overnight – but it can happen!
During the meeting – really try and listen and allow others to talk too. Maybe there are valid reasons why they haven’t been able to clean or help out lately. Maybe some of your house mates really didn’t think it was a big deal, or maybe they don’t know the difference between clean and disgusting! If so – try and explain how it makes you feel to live in a messy / unclean house, and give clear examples of what needs to change.
If possible write a list or set of guidelines for everyone to follow – and get everyone to agree to it. Throw in some jokes here and there to lighten the mood. It will help lighten spirits and not feel like school or like anyone is getting in trouble! Maybe this kind of agreement should have been done in your household at the very beginning of your tenancy – but hey – you live and learn!
Good luck Susan – its not going to be easy – but if you manage to start getting everyone working in the same direction, the pay-off will be well worth it. Remember if things still don’t work out, and your housemates refuse to cooperate or be considerate, no matter how hard you try, perhaps it is best to cut your losses and find somewhere else to live. But first – give them a chance to improve and everyone might learn from the experience.
"WEIRD HOUSEMATE"
Dear Dr House, Please help me! I have been sharing a unit for the past 3 months with one other person. I didn’t know him before I moved in but he seemed really nice, studies at Uni and is not at home much. After about a week, I started to get a weird feeling about him. He doesn’t talk to me when he’s home, some of my stuff like CD’s and DVDs have gone missing and he has not returned my MP3 player that he “borrowed” after one month!! I’ve heard him on the phone to people yelling and swearing and I’m afraid to ask him for my stuff back in case he lashes out. What do I do?? Nervous Nellie.
Dear Nellie,
I hope I can help. There seem to be two issues you’re talking about here. One is that your belongings are going missing and that your flatmate has “borrowed” your gear without asking. This is definitely a concern and you are justified in feeling nervous. A handy tip to look after your goods is to keep a personal inventory of all of your property. You are able to borrow an Engraver from your local Police station to mark your bigger items. Keeping an inventory of things like CDs and DVDs is really important as they are easily sold to dealers.
You can get more information on devising a personal inventory & marking your items from the Queensland Police site.
Secondly, it sounds like you are feeling vulnerable or threatened by your flatmate. Just because you move in with someone, be it a stranger or a friend, if you are feeling intimidated, harassed or unsafe it is important to address the issue immediately. Everybody has the right to feel safe within their home. Depending on the severity of the threats, you may wish to notify the Police and arrange to move in with a friend until the matter is addressed. If you feel you are over-reacting, think again. If you feel afraid for your safety at any time, you should call the Police immediately.
Issues of safety and boundaries can be a major concern in share housing. Before you move in with someone, it can be useful to be clear from the beginning on what is acceptable behaviour and boundaries. Ask questions like, “is it okay to use your housemates’ property (and vice versa)?” and “is this place a violence free area?” Sounds full on, but it’s better to be clear from the start than to get into trouble later. Check out Legal Aid on options regarding your legal rights.
"INTERNATIONAL STUDENT"
Dear Dr House, I am an international student who recently moved in with a friend to a new place. Upon my arrival, I was asked to sign a lease by a lady I had not met before who stated that she was the landlord. I had not inspected the room before moving in as I trusted my friend's judgement but now I feel I am stuck in a house with 8 other people and it is getting very noisy and crowded. I feel I have no space for myself. Can I leave the house if I am not happy here? Regards, Sammy
Sammy, that does sound like a very unpleasant situation. I am glad to hear that you have signed a lease. I hope that you have a copy of this lease. If you don’t have a copy, it is your right to ask the landlord for a signed copy.
The answer to your question as to whether you can leave this house is found in your lease. The lease sets out how long you have agreed to stay in the house, the services provided (ie what you are paying for) and should refer to the house rules. If you are at all concerned about whether the landlord is breaking this agreement, you should contact the Residential Tenancies Authority (RTA) or the Tenants’ Union of Queensland in the first instance. They can advise you if you are able to take action under the Act and how to make a formal complaint.
Sammy, you may be able to leave the house even with a signed lease before the expiry date if there is a breach of the conditions in the lease. The RTA or the Tenants’ Union will be able to advise you. If the matter is serious, such as harassment, overcrowding or discrimination, you may need to contact the Police. Before you contact the police check your local Council by-laws for how many unrelated people can live in one house. In Brisbane the number of unrelated people who can live in one house is 6.
Remember Sammy, to make sure you are aware of your rights. If you paid a bond, make sure you are given a receipt straight away and that it is lodged with the RTA. Make sure you have completed an Entry Condition Report as this can assist you to get your bond back when you leave.
If your landlord has not provided you with a lease, and if you feel uncomfortable talking to your landlord, you may wish to contact your International Support Services Advisor to help you with getting your point across.